Oh my gosh, guys, if you haven't been to http://www.mymomisafob.com you need to go now. XD;

On a related note, my (very Korean) direct superior speaks and pronounces English in a similarly messed up fashion at times.

Just now, on the phone, I heard him say:

Him: I'm hurt. I'm hurt from the start. (pause) Yeah. (pause) I'm not blaming you. Actually, when I first speak of this-- this matter-- he blamed ME a lot.

I was like, whoa, he totally got pregnant and the father ditched and now the second boyfriend's gonna ditch too. No, wait. What?

As it turned out what he really said was:

Him: I heard (that this was mainly a problem sparked from the other end). I heard (and knew about this fact) from the start.

Ohhhhh.

Why were you looking for me? Didn't you know I had to be at my father's house?

So... it's been a pretty long while since I last wrote anything. Given that it was last May since I wrote my last entry, I guess the plan to write about my 'summer plans' is pretty much moot at this point (9 months later). Mmm. ;;;

It's kind of strange to look back at that entry, and realise that was pretty much the last time (for a very long while at least) I was actually still in 'student mode'. That is to say, essay deadlines were pressing, the holidays were expected and nicely stretched over a span of time, and I was fairly happy about this.

Now, in a few months, I'll be precisely a year older and in a completely different frame of life and thinking.

For one thing, for anyone who happens to read this and doesn't know already, I'm working. As in, I have a routine desk-job that I dedicate 80% of my life to. I never thought it'd work out like this, but actually...

As an English major who minored in Journalism, as an enthusiast of with hobbies that involve lots of creative writing and drawing, and as someone who loves to laze around and watch anime all day, it seems incredibly obvious that I'd end up doing what I'm doing now: operations as an oil tanker broker.

Yeah. I know. Wha?

I'm not exactly sure what happened here either. Except, I sort of do. To explain more clearly, I had no idea what I was going to do after graduation, so I took the first chance I got. Straight after I graduated (two weeks after, actually) someone asked if I wanted to give a spot in his office a shot. I thought it couldn't hurt, so I tried, and the next thing I know I've got a job.

It's not a bad job at all, and I'm learning loads. But I know one thing for sure: I'm not staying here for long. It's just not really my thang, y'know? But it's good so far, and I took the job knowing I'd do it for *at least* a year. So I know I'll be here that much longer.

Problem is, though I started off as a spare cog they were polishing up, I'm now getting stuck into the machine officially as an actual cog. I'm not a very important cog in the machine, but I am a cog, indeed, so when it comes to me possibly leaving by the end of the summer... I have a feeling the other much more important gears operating above and around me are not going to be too pleased. They'll have to find another cog, which wasn't easy for them last year (seriously, you should have seen my interview. It was RUBBISH. They were that desperate. I'm not being modest, either. Unfortunately.)

Obviously I have to put my own career path before any obligations strewn across it from other less important branches of the tree I happen to be climbing temporarily, but it's tough knowing the current state of the economy isn't exactly stellar for chasing your dreams. Not that I have any career-oriented ambitions (which explains why I'm in this job in the first place).

Anyway, not really complaining or whining, but rather, just musing. It's something I'm forced to contemplate when I consider my career path these days.

As long as I can find a job that gives me the time to have a social life and draw stuff, I don't really mind, I guess. So far, this job isn't too bad in that. Might start taking up my time once I become that official cog I mentioned, on the 19th of January.

Okay I had no idea I was going to start verbally vomiting all over the screen about my job that no one cares about. I'll find something better to talk about next time.

If You ask me to walk, I will walk. If You ask me to stop, I will stop. So take my hand, please.

Blwkejhaflj. I woke up at 6:45AM for some inexplicable reason. Everything felt fine - no headache, no stomachache, no strange sense of unfamiliarity. But I could not remember, for the life of me, how on earth I'd gotten changed and fallen asleep proper after stumbling home rather tipsy. It must have been a lot worse than I thought. I crawled out of bed over my sleeping sister and went to have a cold glass of water.

Bwlruaonglduf. The water tasted like CRAP, and I was all what the hell is wrong with this water?!! As it turned out it had nothing to do with the water so much as it had to do with the crap coating the insides of my mouth. So I knew, at least, that I hadn't done my usual hygiene routine before heading to bed last night. After brushing my teeth out, I tried water again and it tasted like it was supposed to, and I felt less grossed out at myself.

I wracked my brains for what happened last night, and the last thing I remember is lying on my bed, curled up in my clothes, and my mom walking by and sniggering at me, going 'So you ARE tired' because I feigned being fully alert when I first arrived home, walking with a clearly sober and focused line all the way to my room before collapsing under the pretence onto my bed. How I changed my clothes and got under the blankets is a total mystery to me. It's the first time I've lost my memory after drinking. I'm just glad I only forgot something incredibly mundane. (Or perhaps not. I'll probably discover I gave some wild strip show. ~_~)

Now it's 7AM-ish and I can't go back to sleep, so screw it, might as well write something on xanga, right?

So some stuff has been happening, lately. Now that lectures and all that jazz is done and over with, I'm perfectly inclined to do nothing but laze around, except I haven't been able to really do that so far. There's always been something to do, or someone to meet, and frankly it's been a bit of a hectic schedule for me despite the fact it's all fun and games.

After my last exam two weeks ago on a Monday, I had a final assignment to hand in of 2,500 words that I totally procrastinated. It was due on Tuesday (13th of May) and my last exam was on the 5th of May. I'm sure you can imagine my little procrastinating brain telling me things like eight whole days?! Psh, that's LOADS of time and so I didn't work on it at all.

Of course, my brain conveniently neglected to connect my essay deadline to the fact I had a three-day trip planned to Singapore starting on Monday, 12th of May, through to Wednesday the 14th.

Basically, after my final final:

Monday (5th): The first thing I did was have lunch with a really decent exchange student from Korea before heading off to do my work shift from 2 to 6.
Tuesday (6th): I had lunch with the ever effervescent and wonderful Sandra~ (wheeeeeeeeeee :D) We had MyTokyo and then dessert at Shake 'Em Buns, heeheehee <3 I'm having the yummy peachy thing she had next time!
Wednesday (7th): I had work the entire day from 10 to 7 before dinner-ing it with my sister. :)
Thursday (8th): I went out and met two church unnis (the Korean equivalent of 'jie jie') and went around Fortress Hill, my MTR station, looking for a Korean drama DVD shop. We found it, and I picked up a fairly recent (not too recent though) title called 'New Heart', a medicine drama. Then we had tea. :)
Friday (9th): I had my first panic attack regarding the untouched essay I was supposed to be writing, and then I just brushed it off and watched New Heart most of the day. >_>;; I had dinner with Jeehye and Jeewan, two of my closest pals from my golden olden days dating back from 1990.
Saturday (10th): I realised all of a sudden that if I wanted to go to Singapore with a clear conscience, I was going to have to finish the essay before Monday. Luckily it was something I could submit through online means, but I hadn't started it at all. Clearly, I had to at least start the essay, gather up my sources and begin an essay plan, as well as figure out my thesis statement, and maybe write my introductory paragraphs. Obviously I did nothing but watch New Heart all day, and then feel (mildly) guilty about it later.
Sunday (11th): Turned up at church and found Yoogy (Catherine Min to those who may remember) had just flown in the night before, and was totally prepared to boogie. She is also a bestest bud circa 1990. I was completely torn because I knew I needed to finish that stupid essay (it's worth 40% of that course's grade) and so, like the usual effective and mature way I deal with bad situations, I curled up in a little ball and whimpered. Then Jeehye suggested I just stay up the whole night doing it, and I thought hey, that's not a bad idea at all!

So I spent all of Sunday hanging out with Yoogy, Jeehye and Jeewan, and we just talked the day away, and the next thing I know I have this damn essay to complete. JSTOR was my best friend, and I rushed to complete the essay as fast as I could because I needed to pack for Singapore, too.

It took a Red Bull, two cans of Nescafe (Creme White and normal blend mixed together) and a can of Coke, but I managed. At 5AM, the essay was done and I'd even managed to look over a friend's essay for her too. By 5:30AM my stuff was packed, and I had 3 hours of sleep before getting up to take a nice shower, pack up my toiletries and head off to the airport. I checked in at 10:50AM and went off to the airport on the express, feeling nervous as it was my first time skidaddling off to another country alone.

By 11AM I was bored off my socks. My plane was due for 1:30PM and I totally had too much time to kill. I spent it texting friends and munching chicken strips at Popeye's, and then I did my final round of phonecalls before finally lifting off from Hong Kong. I pretty much knocked out the moment I closed my eyes (a real rarity, because sleeping on the plane is usually impossible for me - I was that tired. The moral is, folks, don't do essays at 5AM in the morning) waking up only to have food, and then the next thing I knew I was in Singapore. SQ (Singapore Airlines) is really nice, btw. :)

I met the most gorgeous thang evah at the airport, the only reason I was in Singapore in the first place, and she took me around pretty much everywhere. It was a non-stop ride and walk through half of Singapore, we took the MRT (I kept looking at the signs and thinking it was a typo automatically hahaha) and cabbed it everywhere and had a ton of really really good food. I'll need to record this all in a proper journal later, but it was basically an awesome heck of a time.

It was a brilliant break to have, and I can't thank Praseeda enough for putting up with me for three days. We've known each other for what, 11 years, and we've been in different countries and doing it all online and by phone for 7 years of that. I'd like to ask people to try topping that. :P

So after a whirlwind of malls, libraries, pandan cake, Swensen's and the 'totally sketch' (to quote my gorgeous filly) streets of Joo Chiat, as well as a grand walking tour of the National University of Singapore (which has a really gorgeous campus!) I found myself squished between a big fat white guy and some Singaporean who talked to herself out loud quite a lot, flying back to HK. Cheers Prada for a fantastic time. :)

After I arrived home a little past midnight, I got up on Thursday (yesterday) to meet up with Yoogy and Jeehye, one more time before Yoogy flew back today. (She probably hasn't flown yet, she's packing most likely. She'll call me later I hope.)

On that day I was wearing a pair of heels, by the way, that I bought from Singapore for not even 200 HK dollars from Charles and Keith. They're a really beautiful pair of shoes. The problem is that I totally had no idea how much pain a woman must endure to acquaint themselves with a new pair of heels. I had never found shoes a problem because I am a fan of flat sandals and wedges and very soft leather.

It was therefore quite a shock to discover that new heels are also a form of intense self-torture devices. I'd seen my friends wear new shoes and rub their feet and moan in pain and apply all manners of band-aids to their blisters, but I always figured it was a normal thing to endure, a kind of rite of passage for being a woman and wanting to wear pretty shoes.

It is not and should not be a 'normal thing' to endure. I have blisters all over my toes and the soles of my feet and I strained something in my right foot and it's all PAIN. I hate being a girl.

I ended up having to switch shoes because I couldn't take it anymore. (I'll probably break them in bit by bit as my days wear on gradually. Grr.) After a really nice dinner at KCC, us girls went gallavanting to LKF for a long-awaited time with drinks.

Here is my advice to people in general: a vodka straight should not be the first thing you drink. Another tip: if it is, don't drink it in 10 minutes, even if it's happy hour. I threw up maybe a third of the contents of my stomach because of it, and totally blacked out my memory after I crashed on the bed. Scary, scary shit.

So now it's 8:15AM, my family members are awake and milling around the house, and I think I'm ready to either pass out again or have breakfast and watch the rest of New Heart. I'll probably do that. :)

Next time I'll write about my plans for the summer. When I've figured them out, anyway.

Make me a prayer, let my prayer be a cry.

You know, there's this bizarre thing I've noticed concerning language. Sometimes, when you're forced to speak in relatively simple terms, you end up saying things a whole lot quicker and actually more to the point than if you had a whole range of complex terms at your disposal.

Take Lena from the Joy Luck Club, for example. She's forced to communicate in very simple English terms with her mother. In one scene, Lena's mother wants to know why Lena always split things right down the middle with her husband. Lena thinks about how they're trying to go for love without a cheque book, unconditional love or whatnot, but she just says something along the lines of: "I don't know. It's something we started and we never stopped." And she's actually hitting the deeper truth there than what her mind had been telling her to say.

I realised I was in a rather similar situation last night, when I had to speak in Korean. I was trying to explain how my parents sort of restrict my independence, even at this age, and how I can't do things so freely because I'm always under their jurisdiction, and I was trying to explain my frustration and why I needed to get away from them, etc. It's a rather common topic I've spoken on with most people, but I was struggling to explain this in Korean.

Giving up elaborate words, I ended up saying, "They've never really let me grow up." (My really sucky Korean: 부모님이 제가 어른 되는 길 좀 막은 거 같애요. Literally translates to: "My parents blocked my path to growing into an adult.") I had never really thought about it that way before, but when I said it, I knew that was pretty much it. I guess it surprised me (even though I was the one who said it) to realise that it was actually that simple when put in words. My parents don't do it intentionally, I'm sure, but they've always kind of been in the way to me really learning what it means to be independent, since I'm always home. Sometimes I wonder if they expect me to be around forever. (They're always berating me that I expect that of them. But I think the opposite also applies.)

Anyway, complex turn of phrase and explanations sometimes just cave into fairly simple sentences, I think. That was what occurred to me last night, and it amused me that it was the case. I think, in many cases, I've done this before, but this is the one instance I'm able to script since it just happened. Simple is best, I guess. :P

Your word is a lamp unto my feet.

 I think I scared my sister's boss a little when we were eating lunch the other day.

 To put it into context, I part-time at the office my sister works at under the Public Relations department as a temporary intern. Her boss is not exactly my boss, because I work directly under his boss. Let's call him Sir Panda, for reasons better left undiscussed. So I can be a little cheeky with him, since I don't answer directly to him anyway.

 I work a full day (9 hours) on Wednesdays so I eat lunch with the PR workers on those days. This particular week, we went to eat at Crystal Jade. It's that place that specialises in dumplings and noodles of all Shanghainese kinds, and makes good siu long bao (or xiao long bao, if you want to sound more Mandarin).

 While waiting for the food to arrive, Sir Panda keeps sneaking looks at his iPhone. (Yeah I know... an iPhone.) My sister snorts, because it turns out he was sneaking looks at the Edison pictures he's still got. I told him he's gotta be real dirty to want to look at that before eating, and he just rolled his eyes at me and said something snarky about my sister wanting to sneak looks at Edison's little *****. (Typical.)

 So I glance down at the paper place-mat absent-mindedly, and certainly my head did not have its mind where it should have been - it was happily gurgling in the gutter. The place-mat has this bunch of English slogan-talk somewhere on the bottom-left corner, take a look next time you go, HKers. Now, the place-mat has text that goes something like this:

"Crystal Jade makes specialty Xiao Long Bao, Xiao Long Bao with so soft skin, full of succulent meat and delicious broth, delicious juice explodes in your mouth."

......................

Of note, the three things that stuck in mind was soft skin, succulent meat and juice exploding in your mouth. Honestly, maybe I wouldn't have taken it so gutter-mindedly if the Edison photos hadn't been mentioned beforehand (and we all know what kind of photos they contain). I start laughing, and then I have to share the dirty joke, and Sir Panda looks horrified at me for a moment.

"Aren't you supposed to be the innocent one?!"

Uh... nope. Clearly, he doesn't know me well enough, eh?

Later on, Sir Panda comments that 'it's always the quiet ones'. Makes you think twice about those people who are smiling quietly to themselves in the corner during lunch, doesn't it?

Ah, and about the last entry... thanks very much for all your sympathy. That line in italics is something I picked up again, which I was in habit of for my old xanga entries - I finish with something related to God somewhat. That particular line was to console myself. :P

Will I dance in your glory, or in awe of you be still?